The last year has held more pain, experienced and witnessed, than most of the years before put together. It's accumulating in my gut, weighing me down, tying me tighter and tighter to the One that keeps me afloat. I'm raw and blistered from hard conversations, shamed by my own constant wordlessness at the moments when others need words the most. It makes me physically ill when someone I love talks about their hurt. I'm a fixer, a doer - God is teaching me to do nothing. Overcoming self, relying completely on Him. I can't make this better. I can't fix the sin, repent for the unrepentant, heal the aches or fill the empty places. God, give me strength to be helpless.